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29.8.06
The route to be a Jedi/ 7:18 PM May the force be with you... Feel the force, its all around you, but beware of the dark side... Size matters not... Do or do not, there is no try... It was indeed a wise decision to spend 5 bucks renting the Star Wars V DVD... :) |
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27.8.06
/ 6:32 AM To all who're still unsure, undecided, confused etc... The answer is in the journey itself :) |
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25.8.06
Salted Fish ~yummy~/ 5:18 PM Hahas, simply love this song!!! 歌曲：咸鱼 我是一只咸鱼 不想承认也不能否认 不要同情我笨又夸我天真还梦想著翻身 咸鱼就算翻身还是只咸鱼输得也诚恳 至少到最後我还有咸鱼 不腐烂的自尊 我没有任何天分 我却有梦的天真 我是傻不是蠢 我将会证明用我的一生 我如果有梦有没有错 错过才会更加明白 明白坚持是什么 我如果有梦梦要够疯 够疯才能变成英雄 总会有一篇 我的传说 我不好也不坏不特别出众我只是敢不同 我的人生就是一错再错错完了再从头 也许放弃掉一些活得更轻松我却不再是我 我不愿一生晒太阳吹风咸鱼也要有梦 有一天有我的天空 作我的英雄在我的天空 我知道你懂知道你会懂 |
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22.8.06
I've made up my mind!/ 10:55 PM I just talked to a long-time-no-see friend, a friend whose intincts I trusted most... Friend:"greener pasture. sounds....... too good to be true, isn't it? be forewarned." Me:"blah blah blah..." Friend:"because if you never go about doing it, you will never find out for urself whether the pasture is indeed, greener on the other side. and for a person of ur calibre, nothing can go too wrong." Me:"blah blah blah.." Friend:"i say this according to my instincts. all major upheavals of course need sacrifices. if u think it's worth it, then just do it. no point pondering then somewhere u may just live to regret." Friend:"i feel that from past experience, you can complete what you start off with." Friend:"and that's good enough. especially when you're speakin of something long term. but then.............. u're easily moody lah, so u need to curb ur overthinking." Yeaps, don't think too much... I never expect that friend to come and talk to me on msn, really must thank her... :) Phew, what an ego booster! And not forgetting today I cleared the air with another friend who had a misunderstanding with me some time ago... I'm gona end this blog entry with a Chinese saying: "君子有所为， 有所不为" |
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20.8.06
All I Want Is/ 12:05 PM There's something which I didn't say to a lot of people... I really treasure my IR brothers and the O week O-com friends... And I'm glad that this FOP had allowed me to know a lot of affiliates better... And I know that I can say to myself that I have no regrets on the day I stepped down... But for all these, many other things were sacrificed, friendships, time, and maybe even personal reputation.. So much that sometimes my heart wrenched when I thought of it... That's why, I'm really, really, very, very, very tired le... And all the speculations, rumours etc doesn't really help... Thus, all I want is A good break... |
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19.8.06
a bit on History of Modern China/ 1:07 PM Was reading about China's history since Opium War till now. It was said that after the Opium War and subsequently the humiliating Sino-japanese War, the Middle Kingdom under the Qing dynasty had 4 groups of political ideologist: The Conservatives, eg Li Hong Zhang, who wanted to keep the political system as it is while strengthening the country's economy and military slowly, thinking that a medicine too strong is bad for the body that's already weak. The Aid-the-King moderates, like Kang You Wei etc, who still believes in the emperor, but hopes to revamp the political structure of the weakening Qing dynasty totally. The Revolutionaries, like Sun Yat-sen etc, who believes that the Feudal system is outdated and wanted to create an all-encompassing, New China where equality, democracy and modernization can take place. And of course, those radical 反清复明s and 扶清灭洋s, which as a group itself, was strong and united, and thought that the past eons years ago is the "golden age" of China, and thought that their martial arts can restore everything back in order. What happens in the end? Well, the conservatives quarrelled among themselves and people like Li Hong Zhang and Zhang Zhi Dong got totally disillusioned with the imperial government; the Aid-the-Kings got no assistance from the emperor himself; the 反清复明s' and 扶清灭洋s' morale, ideology, unity were all very commendable, however, they are not outward-looking and their dream was an outdated and unrealistic dream without mass support and military aid, thus faded in the end with the Boxer Rebellion; The revolutionaries won, but at a cost far too high, with many problems to solve with this victory... I started to ask myself, so who's right and who's wrong? Well, perhaps even history itself can't give me the answer. In fact, all of the ideologists are commendable, they worked for their dreams and vision. The sad thing however, is that history is often written by the victors... |
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18.8.06
/ 12:30 AM Aiyo, it must be you again... You all say whatever you all want to say la. My dad didn't study a lot, but there's always this statement that he constantly remind me: "you can do whatever you want, but once you've decided on doing something, dun regret when you look back one day" Played soccer today, really enjoyed myself, though I must really admit that my skills sucks... And suddenly Ah dong's words a few days ago came to my mind... Hmm, maybe... Anyways, there's still a few more days to rest and think... Oh yah, and the feeling really sucks when you thought you've covered a leakage, and at the other end of the pipe, water starts dripping again!! |
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14.8.06
O-week and Rag, what a wonderful experience/ 4:57 AM Yups, O- Week is over, so is Rag. 8 months of hardwork for both projects, many many sleepless nights, sacrifices from many many people, tears were shed, strength, both physical and mental, were tested, coordination between many parties, conflicts both internally and externally... At the end of it all, its all worth the efforts, even if its only for that one moment, its worth the effort... O-Week com was good, very good, because many of us joined the com with a goal and a desire to fulfill his/her own dream. Really hope that at the end of this 7 days, all of you have found what you yearn for from the start. Though feeling a tinge of sadness, disappointment and certain regret, I'm still proud to say that the dream I had for myself had been fulfilled, both on the night of 11th August and morning of 12th August... I don't know about the others, but I know for myself that I willingly go through all the hardships and heart-wrenching experiences to fulfill my personal dream, a dream to see all freshies bonded as one ARTS family, a dream to see both O Week and Rag rising together, a dream to see O-weekers working hand in hand with raggers... It was this dream that made me run for MC last year, yet along the way, I lost sight of it. Thank god that I found it back again and worked hard for it... Tears were shed by me 3 times during O-Week: first time being 5th August when I cried miserably beside Bobby, because the people whom I had high hopes in turned their backs on me, and I felt helpless and misunderstood for a moment... second time being sentosa day, when I saw a 400 strong family enjoying themselves at Sentosa, my eyes welled coz I felt a strong sense what chinese had it as 感慨万千... 3rd time being Finale night, when everything comes to an end and Leon's video was sceening, I can't control my tears anymore and cried together with Wong Shihui in the dark LT8 when I saw the phrase about friendship. It was a bitter-sweet feeling that overwhelmed me... On this note, to all O-Week com members, yes, you've all been through a lot of shit. But if you look at the impact you've created on the freshies and the friendship that you've gained along the way, you'll realised that its all worth it. The best and ever-lasting friendships are those that were forged through hardships. And it comes to Rag Day, the final day for O Week, I really teared when I saw O-Weekers pushing the main float together with the Raggers, with a large crowd of O-weekers cheering for rag... Yesh! My dream finally came true!! I just can't stop that 激动-ness in me anymore, so I decided to go to a corner to wipe my tears secretly (coz I made a bet with Rachel not to cry on rag day.. haha) Was sitting beside ning ning back-facing all O weekers watching the rag performances by other faculties and halls, and I told ning ning that I was very touched... And that stupid ning ning made me cry again when she started to count with me the number of FOP projects we've been through using my fingers... Den it comes to the release of the results... Indeed, I really felt angry, disappointed, anguished... Yet, I don't want to cry in front of the O-Weekers nor raggers... When Carol asked me to gather the crowd, I was really struggling emotionally coz I was really feeling very bad inside... And so I addressed the O-Weekers, and told all of them to remember 12th August, coz the same time next year, we'll be marching in proudly to that same SRC to claim back what should rightfully be ours! The O weekers dispersed, and I can't help but broke down in front of Shuning and Ivan Chen... And yesh Ivy, I won't forget the promise u made to me lor, u beta come down next year on rag day! Den I went back to the rag side. Over there, I hugged Ivan Kwan, Rachel, Lionel and many others, we cried together, coz we really feel for rag... Its really very annoying when what should be tears of joy turned out to be tears of anguish and anger... Even till now, my friends from Bizad and Engin can't believe that we actually lost! To seniors like Jianwu, Alvin and Ivan, I won't forget my promise to all of you, the dream and the journey will be continued... To pple of my batch like Lionel and Rachel, we shall do it again k? Throughout the whole 7-day long O-week, I wasn't the only one who cried, many others too... This is the power of rag and oweek, it makes people cry coz of the passion involved... A friend who was once very close to me asked me why am I doing all these. I hope that after reading this blog entry, he'll understand why. Sorry that I can't give you a definite answer that day coz the answer is in the journey itself... |
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12.8.06
A day we'll all remember/ 7:46 PM 12th August 2006, a date all raggers will remember, a day all O-weekers and Arts Club affiliates will not forget. People, wait and see for one more year. We're almost there and next year on this date, we'll complete this unfulfilled dream! -will blog about O-week and other thoughts soon, too many thoughts on my mind now... |
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9.8.06
Waiting/ Dreaming/ 6:07 PM 4 days down, 3 more days to go, and I can't wait to see... Can't wait to see the night when all 400 O-Weekers will be bonded as one ARTS family Can't wait to see the day when this same family of O-Weekers will turn into a 400-strong army to cheer for rag, to show to other faculties what ARTS means And also, I can't wait to see the day when I can meet up with all my brothers, sisters, friends etc etc, everyone, just everyone together, no work, no quarrels, absolutely nothing between us except food and drinks and fun! Aye aye!! :) To my friends, no matter where you are or what happened, please wait for me, I'll join you when my chores are through... |
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6.8.06
Tears/ 5:46 PM It was way past midnight of 05th August. The meeting just ended for both O week and MC. I promised myself only to shed my tears for things that are worth crying for. Yet on that night, I broke my own promise. Never had I felt so pissed, sad, disappointed, hurt before. At the same time as my tears flow, I knew that I'm crying for my dream too. Haha, to think back, it was the first time after so many years that I cried like a baby! Kaoz, totally lost all the man-ness man! But I know, these tears made me stronger, much stronger... How much tears had to be shed, how much hardship, misunderstanding, bitterness must one endure before a dream can be fulfilled? Let's all work hard for this dream then. :) On this note, I wana kb abt something: "only you can help yourself. If you can't, PLS don't drag others down as well! This is NOT the way to show your influence, mind you..." |
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4.8.06
Disappointed/ 4:41 AM Of all people, why must it be you? But, I CANNOT let it affect me! The show must go on! |
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3.8.06
Early morning blog/ 8:39 AM 3.30 am... Alone on the rooftop, thinking... So many things on my head that I eventually fell asleep on the rooftop unknowingly... To the people whom I have faith in: I've full confidence and trust in all of you, please don't let me down... Shit, realised that there is this form of sian-ness taking over me slowly... NO WAY! Must fight back and bring the light to others... *empowering myself again* Think the theme song for Pirates of the Carribbean is a good music, it can really lift up my spirits. :) Listening to i-tunes now, the songlist shuffled to Love Me... Hmm, felt something... |
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