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31.3.07
/ 10:06 PM Hee think this is really the season of love now, many people getting attached oh! Sometimes I wonder, do people really understand what love is? Or do they get together just because at that point of time, they need each other's company? What's love then? ----- Belief It's only when you believe in something before you can start to make things happen for yourself. ----- Ahhh.... 2 more to go, before the most most exciting part of MC life comes again! woots! :) ----- Hmms, everybody has to go on the path that he/she had chosen. ----- I'm just too rational. And some things in this world needs irrationality to work. ;) |
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30.3.07
/ 3:23 AM hehs, i know im a bit slow, but this song is real nice! :) |
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28.3.07
/ 3:57 AM A break from GEK1030 essay. nice songs makes me smile :) |
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27.3.07
/ 4:35 AM Ahhh! What a good chance wasted! Kaoz... :x ----- Was feeling a tinge of sadness, felt better after talking to lim jays today :) ----- Oh, Futsal was good! One of the teams' member that I nanny-ed sms me on Sunday night saying that though he injured himself, he really enjoyed the weekend kickabout! :) Yeaps good job lionel! haha ----- Some things just have to happen... And yea, once again, we're here to solve it! -_-"' |
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25.3.07
/ 2:48 AM grrr disturbed! its been quite some time since I last felt such disturbances :x Anyway, first day of Futsal was good! |
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22.3.07
/ 9:38 AM Hon Gen Sec... Haha, just finished typing the 6th OM minutes a few hours ago, decided to type something about the fun and sian-ness of being Hon Gen Sec, esp now that I'm halfway through the term! :) There is always a 'GREAT' sense of achievement when I finished typing one set of minutes! Kaoz, of all job, I LIKE (as if) minute-taking and typing the most! It has become so into me that now everytime in any meeting, I'll always take out a notebook (usually black in colour due to my 'little bit-book') and start taking notes/ thoughts! haha!! There is always a sense of satisfaction when I successfully linked up with external bodies and solve a major last minute crisis :) The sian thing happens when someone comes up to me and said:"Bit ar, I really really need your help now" -_-"' Another sian thing is that people view me as 'beauracratic', 'diplomatic', 'politically correct'... :x BUT, looking on the brighter side, it also means that its an indication of professionalism :D There is always a sense of pride when I thought about ADCC and how it has evolved and grew to what it is now :) Its always very shiok when I share with others about my experiences. But it gets very irritating when I have to clear the shit of others when prior warnings and advice had been given... -_-" Sometimes I feel like a "email generating machine"... -_-" There is always a sense of 'I know you understand how I feel' when I talk to fellow Hon Gen Secs of other clubs and ex Hon Gens of Arts Club. Haha, no one knows it better than the Hon Gen Sec :) There is always something new that I found out about Arts Club, NUS, and FASS and of course, the 'system' (hehs) everytime I read the AGM report, Constitution and talk to seniors. It always brings back a lot of memories when I talk to seniors or school administrators. Somehow, I feel that they are the ones who've seen me grew from the Deputy Welfare Director then to the Hon Gen Sec now. You understand yourself better as a worker, leader, manager, person in the 2nd year running in MC. Sometimes its a hard cold reality smack onto you, sometimes you feel torn apart, but hey, everyone needs to learn how to deal with their own emotions mans! It makes you stronger :) Sometimes you feel that no one understands you and feel a deep sense of loneliness, and like all jobs and service work, after smiling, serving, talking, typing (blah blah blah) for too long, you'll start to feel the struggle between role and identity. Sometimes the emotional labour (haha, you don't know what I'm talking about right?! go wiki it out mans) tires you out. Sometimes you feel that no one understands you and feel a deep sense of loneliness (remember the nick of 'a diplomat's woes'? hehs) But maybe that's the nature of the job ba. :) When you feel so, its time for a break! Just like what I'm doing now! All in all, I like my job now! Okie, back to work! |
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20.3.07
/ 4:38 AM Hmms, how true is true? ------ "What makes a good diplomat". Tommy Koh said that a good diplomat is an honest person. Machiavelli suggested diplomats to be "lions and foxes" Who's right? Who's wrong? Whose style should we adopt? Who understands a diplomat's woes? Who says that a diplomat has no principles and no stand? Diplomacy is about friendship, open-mindedness towards others, ideas, reputation and credibility. Do you want to befriend someone scorned by the rest, close-minded, stubborn, selfish, untrustworthy, and has no principles? Do you even want to say hi-bye to such people? Think again, you dumb dumbs... ------ Leadership... To me, there is no such thing as "i'm not born to be a leader" or "i'm good as a follower"... All these I feel are just plain excuses for not stepping out of comfort zone, in short, no initiative. Perhaps its due to my poor family background, perhaps its due to my desire to be 'different', perhaps its because of seeing my sisters in renowned schools, perhaps its due to my inborn character of liking to prove others' biases against me wrong, right from young, I made it a point to myself that though I might not be the best, I'll try my best to at least reach and join the standards and ranks of those known for their character, results etc, and esp leadership.. I can still vividly recall an incident many years ago in VS when my Sec2 form teacher disallowed me to join Leadership Training Camp, claiming, "I don't think you're a leader material". From then on, I worked hard and learnt hard to prove him wrong. At the end of four years, that same form teacher wrote on my testimonial, "(Chuan Seng) is a purposeful young man determined to change the lives of the people around him for the better" Yes, I agree that there are people who are natural leaders with charisma etc, and some who are 'born leaders'. But that does not mean that the rest of us can't work hard or learn to be a leader. There are so many theories and styles of leadership, everyone can be a leader if he/ she wants to be! Leadership can be nurtured too! Charisma can be nurtured through life experiences as well. Yes, you may cock up along the way, people may mock at you, others detest you, some foresake you, but all these are exactly what all great leaders had been through before isn't it? Therefore, next time when you start saying things like 'I'm not cut out to be a leader', think again... |
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19.3.07
/ 3:52 AM 17th March: Food Hunt was great! Haha, firstly, really glad to see all the participants enjoying themselves. The food was nice, esp Botak Jones! Woots! It was a great time of running, eating and gathering with hock, jj, jy and rols too! 18th March: Wooooohoooo! Beach Fiesta is over! Seriously, I think praying works, and I really think that Arts Club is blessed! Just early in the morning it was drizzling, come 9plus the sun starts to shine brightly and the weather turns out all fine and sunny! Well, despite the problems along the way and some minor hiccups today, everything turns out fine and the players enjoyed themselves too. Me too, learnt alot from this project as well, though I was only an advisor and not involved heavily with the planning. For both projects, I'm really very glad to see so many year 1 affiliates stepping out to learn and to lead! :) ------ Despite the personal effort to befriend everyone, there are just some people that I really do not wish to talk to... grrrr.... |
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15.3.07
/ 5:01 AM argggghhh!! irritated! some people are just not contented with what they have and pushing their limits too far! and pushing their limits in a taking for granted manner again and AGAIN! grrrrr.... how old already, still gei gao over such minute stuff for what?! ----- And it just goes to show... |
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14.3.07
/ 4:04 PM Open House... a second and a first: second year doing Arts Club booth for FOP in Open House, like what rols said, feels kinda nostalgic and weird, to be at the same place doing same job again... hehs... kinda interesting to see how excited all the affiliates and MC members were while introducing FOP, Arts Club and FASS to the freshies. :) First time working in Open House for OCR on Sunday, quite boring to be at the info counter booth for the whole day though, but qte relac, so its ok! haha! while working, a PRC NUS grad came to talk to me coz he was feeling bored waiting for the ISB (I hoped so), and he thought that I'm from Taiwan/ PRC! "-_- coz he said that my mandarin is clear and cheem! woots! weird thing was that he asked me for my contact no and after that sms-ed me for my msn address at night... diaos... Anyway, that incident, coupled with my personal experiences and what I've learnt since young, strenghtened my belief that after I graduate, I'll try to find a job that allows me an overseas posting to China or Taiwan to work for a few years, before coming back to settle down and 大展拳脚! woots! ------ Attended GEK1030 lecture today... Thought-provoking statements of the whole 3-hr session: "Does our roles define who we are?" "Should we let our let our roles define our self identities?" Should we draw a clear line between work and self? If that's the case, how are we going to be professional about our job when we know clearly where the line is? Haha, think some people will understand what I'm talking about and how I feel right? :) |
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13.3.07
/ 11:19 AM Today was one of those few instances where I lie on my bed, refusing to recognise that the sun had risen and its time to get out of my bed. ----- Logical thinking, passionate belief, or blind faith? ----- It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear -- Mariah Carey's 'Hero' Yups, look within yourself for that hero in you, coz you can be much stronger than what you are. Heroes went through trials and tribulations before they became heroes. The only way to win the battle is to face it with courage, which can only be found within yourself. |
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12.3.07
/ 10:53 PM what's the most sian thing in the world? - tell people already they dun understand - clearing shit at the last minute ------ hehs, little things that brightens up my day: - looking at small animals in the petshop beside fong seng - watching andy lau's mtv haha - listening to huo yuan jia! haha ------ inner fears... building dykes and embankments to prevent it from happening ------ these few nights i kept knocking out, ie to say that the moment I reach back home/ hall, i immediately subconciously/ conciously fall on my bed and sleep till the next morning... |
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8.3.07
/ 1:34 AM Ooooh, LOOK what you've DONE... Hmmms... ------ Every actions, reactions, decisions, have its implications. good if it can be seen instantly. But normally the bad thing is that most of the time results of our actions are only seen much later. As such, normally before I make any actions, reactions, decisions, I'll ask around for opionions first. Never mind if others think I'm indecisive or what, coz I know that whatever action, decision, reactions that I make will affect the bigger picture. ------ Been involved in student leadership since sec 2, over the years, got to learn some stuff: - DON'T be egoistic! Seriously, all guys are ego, in fact, everyone has his/her ego. To me its simply a sense of self-worth. But there is a need to be humble, praise others. Great leaders are leaders who make the rest around him/her (or at least equal to him/her) feel great. Please please don't put yourself as the most important person or your work being the most important... Coz it turns people off... - Be humble and always listen! Only then will you get to know more about yourself and learn from others. - Be brave and face up to your own short-comings! Everyone has his/ her faults, but we must be brave to face up to it, realise it early, come to terms with yourself and make the effort to change. - Which brings to the next point: have initiative! Have initiative to change, to put in hardwork, to correct your mistakes. To have initiative is to be bold and brave to take the first step. - A student leader is a 'public servant'. if you can't forget yourself and your personal interests, whichever it might be, then don't be one. Coz it brings disaster not only to the organisation, to the public, and to yourself as well ----- I was reading up on Prof Jon Quah's reading while writing my essay on public sector reforms. Some interesting facts are: - in order to instill a sense of public responsibility into the bureaucrats, LKY opened a Political Study Centre to educate all of them, hoping they 'understand' PAP's viewpoints. - when talking do not work, PAP govt introduced harsher discipline measures against public servants who kena complained by the public. Benefits and salaries were cut. incapable public servants are forced to quit. This helps to set the tone right for the public sector and remove incapable bureaucrats. - to make bureaucrats realise their place and amount of commitment they should put into the public sector, PAP encouraged these leaders to take part in commune projects, 'forcing' them to be close to the public; on the other hand, to warn public servants not to invest in their private interests at the expense of public interests, the government set up CPIB to punish all officials who are not contributing to the public sector but more for their personal gains. Of course, to show their resolve, many government officials were caught and punished. Yeaps... ------- Bad Day Where is the moment we needed the most You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost They tell me your blue skies fade to gray They tell me your passion's gone away And I don't need no carryin' on You stand in the line just to hit a new low You're faking a smile with the coffee you go You tell me your life's been way off line You're falling to pieces every time And I don't need no carryin' on Chorus: Because you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day You had a bad day Will you need a blue sky holiday? The point is they laugh at what you say And I don't need no carryin' on Chorus (Oooh.. a holiday..) Sometimes the system goes on the blink And the whole thing turns out wrong You might not make it back and you know That you could be well oh that strong And I'm not wrong (yeah...) So where is the passion when you need it the most Oh you and I You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost Chorus - Everyday is a bad day till we come to terms with ourselves and with the surrounding. :) |
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4.3.07
PISSED/ 12:24 PM Was damn pissed just now... Kaoz, where got people so @!%@#^&$(*) one?! (yes its people, i mean more than 1!) It first time in the past 3 months that I felt SOOOOOO angry! My blood vessels nearly burst! *taking deep breaths* Then I came back to clubroom to do some arts club stuff and researching for my essay (YES, I have essays to submit oso! I have hell month ahead too!) As I was asking around and researching on some stuff, I got more pissed! Wah kaoz, simply pissed! *deep breaths again* ------ My mum and dad always nag at me. I remember very clearly what they always say: "be glad that people still bother to talk about you, scold you or nag at you coz it shows that they still care about you. When they really keep quiet and let you 自生自灭, that is the time that you should really start to worry and feel sad coz it shows that they have already given up all hopes on you." ------ 路怎么走，你们自己挑! ------ Lastly, as the saying goes, God does not help those who do not help themselves... |
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3.3.07
/ 5:02 AM Phew! 2 more major projects over! haha really very glad that both jam aloud and bazaar went off well!! with such a great turn out for jam aloud (the forum was packed!) and bazaar getting bigger in scale! Think Josh and Tyler must have learnt a lot from their respective projects :) ----- Hmms, life experiences thus far made me realise a few things: There are 3 types of pple who succeeds in life - hardworking, intelligent, and people with "fortune" some people are just plain smart. as such, they only need to put in 50% effort to get the required results that a normal person need to put in 100% to acheive; others are lucky, either they are born with capabilities, born with good looks or born rich. indeed, sometimes life is unfair, some people just have to work doubly hard to be recognised and succeed. But still, I always believe that hardwork, perseverence will pay off one day. Its a fact of life: if you don't have the looks nor the intelligence, the only way to success is through hardwork! :) Take for eg, many great historical figures aren't born very smart or look very handsome, but they worked hard, persevered through hard times and finally made their mark in history! I always like to use examples from ROTK, and of the few great leaders, Cao Cao was born smart; Sun Quan was born into a rich and powerful family; But there are much more others like Liu Bei, Sun Ce are those typical examples of people who weren't born smart but worked hard, persevered through difficult times with strong belief and reached their desired goals and success, carving out an empire for themselves.. The point is: 笨鸟要先飞， 大器必晚成 BUT, there is only 1 type of people who will fail (and fail miserably) - people without initiative! Why? Because when a person lacks inititive, most probably he'll be those commoners who'll be swept away by rough tides and changes. Why? because they don't even know or bother to find out what's happening or what they need to find out to survive through difficult times. As such, they will never get to acquire skills that will help them improve themselves. Because they lack the initiative to find out, most probably they won't take the initiative to start working as well. And due to the lack of initiative, they probably won't work very hard unless being pushed to or forced. As you can see, such people have no control over their lives and living in their own comfort zone! how can you expect a person to succeed when he got no direction in life, no aims, no control over his own life?! And that's a very BIG common problem among youngsters nowadays... ---- Hehs yeaps, its my BIRTHDAY today! Thanks for everyone who remembered my birthday, sent sms-es to me, wished me and celebrated for me (in all ways possible haha)! Hmms, Officially 23 years old le... :X |
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