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30.7.07
/ 6:27 PM Bye roomie!! Bye dzd and jax too!! Cya all in a year's time! quite sad that so many of my friends are going abroad... :( ----- But I've been so busy that I've no time to indulge in sadness. ----- A moment of political carelessness resulted in a tactical victory! :) ----- Seriously, what went wrong? |
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26.7.07
/ 1:10 PM i'm 6516-phobic now... haha and i'm suffering from Oneirophobia too ---- yeaps! watch this music video! this is what BELIEF can do!! :) do you believe? have you found your belief? |
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25.7.07
/ 5:52 PM Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead ----- 法，术，势 so much wisdom in these 3 words ----- Hmms, have been thinking lately... ----- I'm not sure if it works, but I think its still worth the try and the test :) ----- Its... More than meet the eyes :/ |
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24.7.07
/ 5:02 AM 大局为重 |
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23.7.07
/ 2:07 AM wah kaos! i had the same dream again!! ----- finally getta go home! and i slept through the weekend ----- AND YOU!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! Grrrrr ----- bye jackson! see you in one year's time! :) |
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21.7.07
hmms... haisss/ 12:09 AM soci camp was really very fun! its really a good break from everything, though at times I was still thinking about them and now im back for everything! :) ----- that inner fear in me, its growing again :S i really don't wish to see it happen that's why i hesitated still, i've made the choice ----- I've been warned before of such a choice, but there really don't seem to have another better way out. i've held out for so long, i believe i can hold it for another 2-3 months =) |
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18.7.07
/ 3:01 PM just watched the music video of "if everyone cared" very touching and inspiring |
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/ 1:12 PM if you want to die, pls, die for the right reasons, for the right cause seriously, no respect for those who die for their personal reasons ----- O-Week precamp was GOOD! personally, it was a good catching-up session with old friends like laoye, wongs, nings, chongs, bobby, even weilong. gotta know people like uncle bing35, qiyuan, the o-com members and Ali's councillors beta at the same time. and i'm learning how to be a good councillor too! hahas and learning how to be a good advisor too! =) ----- Many thoughts are running through my mind at every moment. ----- Pre-camp has a game which enlgihtened me on something. this game was a "dog and bone" concept, everyone has to dig into the sand to search for water bombs, the first person to dig it out and throw onto the opponent side's representative(s) wins. then it comes to a situation where four-five people were digging in seriously that they all missed out the waterbomb that's just below their feet. interesting isn't it? everyone's digging in, but no one is looking out. finally, someone won coz he heard his team mates shouting; "hey, look around u!!" =) ----- some people fight for honour and pride, some fight to win peoples' hearts, some people work for money, some people just want make life more fun for others, others work to provide welfare to the people. I was once told that its impossible to get everything u want in life, and we have to make a choice somehow. why can't we have a total victory? I'm not being greedy or idealistic, but its really possible. its just how we work towards it that makes or breaks it. the dream lives on as long as there's still someone who believes in it... =) ----- "If everyone cared and nobody cried If everyone loved and nobody lied If everyone shared and swallowed their pride Then we'd see the day when nobody died" - If Everyone Cared by Nickelblack wat a perfect situation right? who doesn't want to see such a scenario in life? we can sing about it, talk about it, dream about it, bitch about it, but it will never happen by just singing it out. i believe in creating what you want to see. |
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16.7.07
/ 2:26 AM a new generation of warriors is rising to the challenge =) ----- its really interesting to see how the fop period can change a person's life in 3 months' time. which means to say that if your life isn't going through much changes, then i think you should do some self-reflections? hope we all change for the better :) ----- oh well, its all but a game, don't take winning and losing too much to heart, nor take it oo personal, neither should we be too emotionally attached to the game *winks* let's all be a bit more playful, and things may turn out better? who knows right? =) |
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13.7.07
/ 11:28 AM a successful man is always prospecting, always pursuing, persistent... and I'll make life work for me! My aspiration is simple: to leave behind a legacy! =) ----- stepping out of own comfort zone will inevitably make you feel uncomfortable. but believe me, it will be all worthwhile at the end of the day ----- can you believe that chuan bit was once an introvert, and had a quite a pessimistic and skeptical character? yeaps, indeed i was, and it took me a lot of hardwork to change myself into an outgoing personality. and i remember years ago, nyjc's miss choong told me that I lack in one important leadership quality, "belief", and I used 5 years to build up on it. why? coz I believe I'm a leader, and leaders shouldn't be introverted. and being positive-thinking had made me and the rest around me happier! =) and having a belief and vision allows you to make your life work for you. you may call me egoistic or what not, but i just cound'nt stand the idea of allowing life to bring me to wherever it is. hahas, and i remember somewhere last year, there were some people who were really concerned about me who stated out all the areas that I need to improve on. hehs, well, take a look again, have i let you down? =) and yes, I've identified new areas that I need to work on. man are not born perfect, but we should all strive to work hard towards it =) ----- there's nothing wrong with me, maybe just a little technical error committed along the way, but it can definitely be corrected =) |
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12.7.07
/ 11:17 PM watched transformers with Meiyi on Monday. Woahs! Its damn nice! Looking forward to Transformer 2! ----- "Dear TAN Chuan-seng, Congratulations! You have been selected as one of the delegates for the Dragon 100 - 2007 Study Tour!" Yeah, I can finally represent Singapore and NUS for an international event! Really looking forward to meeting all the young chinese leaders around the world to build up networks and friendships, to share and to learn from them! I once said before during my JC days that I'll do something big for myself, my family, the country and the Chinese arena in the future. This shall be the first step! (will post about my aspirations in the near future) =) ----- And yeaps! i got it on Tuesday! =) ----- Now for the bad things: - seriously, I've never been so f**king pissed and disappointed with someone before!! - "poof" seems to be "in" nowadays... - everyone has their own problems. what makes you think that your problems are the biggest and therefore you can go into your own hole and hide?! - in work, I really really really cannot stand those who let their negativity spread to others. - and i really really cannot stand statements like "i/he/she is lidat one lahs" if you're lidat, pls f**king change it! *breathes* - btw, where did I go wrong? ----- I remember I once told hock that I don't really trust charismatic leaders. I have my own reasons... most charismatic leaders charmed people with their looks and their speeches. however, can they really see through to it? i'd rather prefer those with charisma built through character, sincerity and experience. at least they are accountable to what they say, and can back it up. and most importantly, see it through. |
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11.7.07
/ 1:05 AM if you get there before i do don't give up on me I'll meet you when my chores are through I don't know how long I'll need But I'm not gonna let you down Darling wait and see - "Love Me" by Collin Raye ------ I'm going Hong Kong from 22nd - 31st Aug =) ------ haissss... *shakes head* ------ The journey... It's painful, really... |
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9.7.07
/ 10:03 AM this thought comes to me as I was on the bus yesterday night don't you feel that every relationship has sort of a a CEP, Currently Estimated Potential in which many of us call it as "career end point"? some people, the moment you meet them, you have this special feeling that he/she will be the one for a few, you know they can be your very special friend for many, you know that they can be your friend at most for lots of others, you know they're just gona be your "hi-bye" friends however, the saying always goes that if you work hard enough, your CEP will change for the better, coz either luck falls on you or your boss may like you better through your hardwork, or somewhere you cock things up, then that's it with your career! same goes for human relationships right? |
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8.7.07
/ 7:59 PM what many believe is true is normally not what it seems!! ----- know why i like andy lau so much? coz he's a very hardworking celebrity, for him, career always comes first and though he's always humble, you can sense the high amount of self-pride and confidence within him. and he gets more suave as he becomes older! (esp when he's in suit) and though there are 1001 rumours about him, he's always maintain that "clean, good bachelor" image... ----- personal aim: I must get it by next Tuesday! hahas |
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6.7.07
/ 10:24 PM Listening to "what I've done" and "leave out all the rest" by my bed yesterday night really could feel for the lyrics... ----- 2 weeks, that's all the time I need ;) ----- things aren't as simple as you think and make out to be ----- for everything I did, I did it with a reason, with calculated risks and rationality. as far as possible, i did everything with an outcome in mind. I have my own methods to protect and defend the people around me, so far it works, though you might have not seen it/ know it. Well, its not meant for you to see it anyway :) ----- hmms, suddenly in a mood to tell lao kok kok stories, will do it in the next post... |
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3.7.07
/ 11:46 PM woooohoooo! I just bought a bible! reading it now!! hahas ----- hahas, felt damn happy for Mel, coz she's getting engaged! :) |
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/ 10:11 AM further condemnation ----- everytime after an emotional turmoil or roller coaster, I'll fall very sick soon after -listening to 普通朋友, 知足, and all out of love for the whole night! kaos damn sad sad songs ----- I'm really glad that I learnt things the hard way. It really makes me appreciate others and little things in life more, and be more big-hearted towards difficult people. However, precisely because I know how it feels and how its like, some stuff that some people do are really unpardonable, naive and selfish. ----- There are really many many stories, emotions, thoughts that I wana share about Arts Camp, but after so many days, I still could not describe it in words. Think Leon described it the best by through... "What does Arts Camp mean to you?" Till now, whenever I think back on this question, my heart feels the wrench, my eyes will start to well. I don't know how to describe it, but I know, everyone in the Function Room, esp the lao laos know it, they know how it feels. (side note: stupid leon's video always make people cry!) This year's Arts Camp was a totally different experience for me! last year I was just doing logistics, this year, I have to keep thinking at least 5 steps ahead for admin and the camp, foresee and be flexible, learn and at the same time guide the rest. Though its admin, but its really my first time doing Arts Camp admin which was a whole new task for me! Its even more difficult to be a forward looking, flexible yet not reactive, systematic admin with a human touch. Its even worst especially when everyone is looking at you for direction and I'm actually searching for it myself too! Yet at the same time I have to be confident and spread this confidence to the rest. To add on to it, everyone thinks that I'm good at handling admin and that I'm the Hon Gen Sec, so many a time, due to this pride and expectation factor, I fear making mistakes and hesitate to ask people for advice. Hais, that's why its always good to be year 1, less stress and expectations. Yeaps, made some mistakes here and there, but I'm really glad that everything turned out well. :) Many broke down into tears in the function room. It was at this point of time when I sort of understand the statement that someone once taught me when I rerun, "a senior MC member and leader should never break down in front of the crowd he's leading". Well, I admit there's some flaws in this statement, but it does make some sense. I admit, I wasn't as emotionally strong as them, I shed a few tears in front of the crowd. After which, for a few minutes, I went down the stairs to somewhere near the Eusoff rag site where there was no one and let out everything alone. Everything, from the moment I step up till now, the disbelief from others, the heartache everytime I see all the worn-out faces around me, the sarcasm, the eye-rollings, the heartwarming scenes of everyone helping out one another, the unity, the banding, simply everything. I squatted down on the floor, ensure that no one is around me, before I let out everything like a crybaby. Hmm, it really feels better when no one is looking. Like what Chongs said, "real man feels it" When I re-enter the function room, it was really heartwarming to see a new batch of Arts Clubbers stepping up and taking over the baton. That's more satisfying than any other successes in the past 9 months of my 27th MC term. It'll be in good hands, definitely! :) (there are many people whom I wana thank, shall leave it to the next post then) |
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1.7.07
/ 8:49 PM Wooo hooo! What a fantastic week! coz... Arts Camp is over!!! and its a fantastic experience for everyone!! - will blog about it in another post And Chang Nings is back!! hahas ----- 一代新人换旧人 its kinda a mixed feeling witnessing the rise of a new era =) -shall blog more about it next time ----- its the time for a test of belief, perseverence and character ----- every now and then, I'll find a quiet and peaceful place, sit down and spend some time with myself I'll spend this time to think about my life so far, where I should be heading towards, what I should be doing next, most importantly, to pack up my emotions. tonight I shall do so again |
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