|
27.8.08
3 weeks seems like 3 months/ 8:01 PM 3rd week of my year 4 life suddenly a 巫启贤 song came to my mind 我真的好累， 你要的我都学不会... ... Haha, ok, exaggeration here, but its really damn tiring! I'm so busy and caught up with my study of war readings that i have no time for the rest!! :/ Every Monday (Regional security of AsiaPac), ill ask questions that will get no answers. Every Tuesday (Study of War), its like going back to my opsspec days, back to the planning room!!! Every seminar is WARrrrrrr!!! but all in all, though its tough, its my favourite module! :) Every Wednesday (Rhetoric and Politics), i feel damn kum gong, totally dun get what the people are trying to say - i really don't like philo and those theory stuff. wah kaos, all the plato's "absoute truth", "thucydides", "Illiad" makes my head spin! Every Thursday (European Foreign Policy), ok, the module is a little friendlier, but i'm always too shagged for it, 9am seminar really kills me, plus half the time im sneezing coz of the darn sinus... Plus the tuition, boring universe lectures and on some occasions the elections stuff, wooooh, my year 4 life is sooooo exciting! |
|
|
23.8.08
/ 5:30 PM lesson of the day: be responsible and careful in what you blog be mindful of what you tag i blogged this statement 3 years ago "人从来不是为了自己而活着的" anyway, a new era is beginning, a New Hope is rising *star wars music playing in my head* hahaha! the Star Wars saga had always inspired me when i feel lost, disappointed, weak :) the way of the jedi had been lost for some time, it will resurface one day, it will, very soon. |
|
|
21.8.08
to those who're going on SEP/ 10:42 PM sent teeki off yesterday night, after her, a few more (evelyn, joshua, jeremy, remmy) are leaving too... hmms, abit emo about it. really lors, it was like seeing them grow up over the past 3 years, and now they are flying off for SEP liaozz... anyway, to all of you who're going SEP, don't be scared! what's difficult is just that first "step". after that, everything will go smoothly and natural, coz it HAS to go smooth and natural no matter what. hahs it'll be the beginning of many "first steps" :) enjoy yourselves to the max over there at your respective SEP countries! make as many friends as possible! if possible, really go travel around, it'll broaden your horizons by ALOT ALOT!!! and it'll make you stronger and more independent as well! if possible, go explore or backpack by yourself. if possible, go indulge in local's life to experience something that you won't get in Singapore :) notice the many "possibles" that i used in the previous paragraph? yeaps! SEP opens up a new realm of possibilities! I said this in teeki's video, and i want to say it here too! SEP to me was really a self-discovery experience. before SEP, i thought i had the world in me during SEP, i saw how big the world is, and how small my world was after SEP, i know where my world is, and i want to see the rest of the world ENJOY!!! |
|
|
18.8.08
what good does it do?/ 2:36 AM it was a move uncalled for, especially at this point of time it was a move without any meaning, or rather, i see no meaning in it it was move that turned people off, or rather, it turned me off, to a very great extent what good does it do? i hope you know what you're doing |
|
|
14.8.08
/ 1:02 AM honours year... to describe it using a phrase: "THIS IS MADNESS!!" wa piangs, its really siao one lor, everyday ive been printing readings, read readings and i feel damn zi4 bei1 for every seminar, mebbe bec im 2nd lower, *sobs* haha but its quite fun to see some pple having the same blur look as mine during seminars too! and we'll look at each other and give that "oh, so-u-dun-understand-what-he-says-too" look.. haha anw, days after returning from SEP had been great so far, many knots had been untied, dreams fulfilled, more events to look forward to :) oh! FASS mentorship reception tmr! looking forward to meeting my mentor! *nervous* |
|
|
10.8.08
/ 12:36 PM AND WE FINALLY DID IT!!! even till now, i can't get my thoughts organised for this blog post, shall just write whatever that comes to my mind i remember when i was a freshie, i went to help out in pushing the float on the last day of oweek. then on rag day itself, i joined arts in cheering for rag... the results came, arts didn't win. I saw the rag seniors crying. at that point of time, i didn't understand why they were so sad and crying so badly... then i joined the 26th mc, and was dpd admin for oweek. i remember that time, me, carol, jj, jy did all we could to reduce the rag and oweek clashes. i went to help out with rag as and when i could, a 'part-time ragger', i called myself. it was at that time when i wanted to prove to some seniors that both oweek and rag can do well together, not necessarily as what they claimed, 'one goes up, the other goes down'. deep in my heart, i've always wanted to see one ARTS, be it oweeker or ragger, we all work for a common cause, and i really really wanted to see a successful oweek and winning rag happening together. i remembered that i blogged 2 years ago saying that my dream was to see the 500 oweekers going down to cheer at SRC together with raggers as one ARTS... we had a successful oweek and rag! we proved to many that arts can produce a zai float too! but sadly, our casino rag did not win. what was supposed to be ours was taken away from us! i was really really very upset. I cried damn badly, and made a promise to myself that a year later, i want to be back there at SRC cheering for a winning rag. the successful rag and oweek inspired me to rerun... and so, i became the hon gen sec for 27th mc... a year later, i was helping out teeki for her oweek, and did less rag. sadly, along the way, i became tired, angsty and jaded myself. I was leading cheers at padang, but at the back of my mind i started to wonder why we need to go through so much conflicts, hardwork, troubles, money and effort, just to go for something that we might not get to see, letting others and not arts club getting the limelight in the end. it was so wrong of me and my thinking that time... and one more year passed. this year, i just came back from SEP, feeling refreshed and energized, i hope that i can do my part to fulfill this dream of mine and the many seniors before me. i hope that my juniors do not have to make the same mistakes that we've done in the past, nor take the more difficult path that we've taken last time... and also, i remembered that one year ago, hock, depite being house ic and planning for elections, was helping out at rag too. so, despite the shag-ness from oweek, i made it a point to go down as much as possible to help out with rag this year. this year's oweek was really good! i had the feeling everyday as if i was on time machine back to the oweek 2 years ago... there was new programs, new initiatives, new o-com members, but what remained was the undescribe-able spirit, love, passion and fun, it's still there... as for rag, the feeling for myself was really very different as compared to previous years. whatever it may be, passion, friendship triumph, the spirit of rag, its still there. and so, i joined the raggers to push the float after oweek and on rag day itself. i nearly cried when i pushed the float towards the stage, in front of the whole nus and Arts. it was such a familiar sight that i've seen for the past 4 years! then came the announcement of results. i was standing in the front preparing to lead cheers any moment if we hear 'ARTS', but back in my mind, i was wondering if it would be possible or will it be just like what happened for the past 3 years. when the results for best performance was out and it was not us winning, i saw many hearts sank, yet there was nothing i could do. i was thinking, "sigh, its going to be just like any other years before" then, we won the most environmentally friendly float! everyone of us were thrilled! we cheered and cheered, wiped off the tears and hopped happily behind the fences then the historical moment came!! we won the best float!!! after so many years of hardwork, we finally won! 2 awards at one go!! every year, we came in hope and left with disappointment, this year, we've finally made history and let the whole of nus know that arts had won rag! seniors like ivan kwan, people of my batch like guanjie, rachel, wen hui, jackson, members and affiliates of both 27th and 28th mc, we were all crying our hearts out when we heard the results. i cried till my mucus flowed out, but it doesnt matter, coz we've won! we're the champions! hahaha! Finally, at the end of my nus life, i get to see my dream fulfilled: a successful oweek and a winning rag! i was telling carol yesterday this, and she told me, "no, in our nus life, we saw 2 times of both a successful rag and oweek" that's true. as long as we enjoyed the process and have no regrets on what we've done, every year is a successful FOP :) "there was a time when people say that arts fac won't make it, BUT WE DID! there was a time when troubles seem too much for arts to take, BUT WE DID!" "when i say ragger, you say fight!" "Give me a A-R-T-S!" "we have won the war this time" and so we kept cheering and cheering, on the track, at the centre of the field, back at our float. and we kept crying and crying. like what ivan kwan said, now we can all leave nus in peace :) thanks to naga and joan and their ocoms for making this possible for me to see :) thanks to the 28th mc as well. all the shit, all the sacrifices, it was all worthwhile. dreams and beliefs, it all came true on 8th august 2008. suddenly, it doesnt matter if that day was the opening of beijing olympics, coz WE WON RAG on this day!! hahaha!! :D |
|
|
7.8.08
/ 3:10 PM pek chek... |
|
|
3.8.08
what we do in life, (really) echoes in eternity/ 10:00 PM before you leave, think about this: what will i be remembered for when i leave? what is it that i can leave behind for others to benefit, even long after i leave? ----- read a few of my friends' blogposts... just some random thoughts that came to my mind after reading - some actions which you think are minor or words that you think are just passing remarks now, will REALLY come back to HAUNT you one day. and when it does, the feeling is 1o times worst than what you're feeling now - don't do things to the point of no return - don't look back in anger - be appreciative and magnanimous to others, it'll make yourself and everyone else happier - if people don't care, they won't even bother to say anything why am i saying all these? well, coz it happened on me! and even to this point of time, i'm still trying my best to make up for it. but sadly, while some people give me a 2nd chance, many others don't. to tell you guys the truth, even now, sometimes in the middle of the night when i'm alone in my room, i do feel remorseful and regretful for some actions and decisions that i've taken in the past... so, i'm saying these so that hopefully the readers to my blog won't take the same path that i've taken ----- and ego... im not as psyh major or whasoever that can give definitions about egotism, but this is what i feel about it, being an egoistic person myself it's a double-edged sword. on one hand, its a sense of self-assurance, self-confidence, and the push factor to yourself in times of crisis... on the other hand, it blinds you from the truth and spoils your relations with others. in more serious cases, it separates yourself from the 'real' you living in your own perceived ego is bad, living in someone else's ego is even worst |
|