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30.12.08
nightmare/ 1:35 AM wakaos, i've been having nightmares recently!!! in the dream, i kept seeing people leaving me, friends and acquantances, some of them waved goodbye, some of them smiled and turned away, others simply faded into the dark... and i'm left alone in the scene then my legs started feeling numb and i started to run when i woke up, my legs are still sore, with my thighs feeling the muscles strain and sometimes in my sleep, i'll be reminded of the time 2 months ago when i was at the mortuary, but the frequency of this dream is getting lesser and lesser though. other than these nightmares, the other dream that i had several years ago came back again! its that kind about falling from great heights could this be a sign of insecurity? or an omen? stress? or simply a lack of sleep? can't be that serious right?? i shall have a good sleep tonight *prays* |
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27.12.08
/ 4:17 AM why did you hide it from me? ----- why did you lie to me? ----- “看起来朋友很多，知心的没几个” 这句歌词用来形容我最合适。 外表交流广阔，其实真正我认为会陪在我身旁的人， 一只手就能算得出， 而且还在逐年减少。 是我个性孤傲？ 是从来没有敞开心房？ 还是世间冷暖本来如此？ 也许我有着浪人的天性，从不属于任何一个地方， 不属于任何一群人。 相识容易，相处难。 在中国时，有个背包旅客对我说过这么一句话： "大家背着个背包离乡背井地出来玩，就是要个自体验人生。 在路上结个伴，一路上有个照应， 有人说说话儿， 也就是了。 大家都不要向彼此要求太多。 到了交叉路口，你走你的，我走我的，说声再见， 就这样了吧。” 也许人与人之间，不外如是。 |
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24.12.08
so?/ 1:49 PM resutls are out, and so the leak is right best result i've ever got in nus for the past 7 semesters but so what? |
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20.12.08
omg, im so vain!~/ 3:19 PM i was looking at my facebook pictures. walaus, i was real thin last year la! haha not as if im very fat now, but at least i think im more muscular and meaty now HAHA its quite shocking when i had to try on a 30 inch jeans at levi's last week last time, i can only go up to maximum 28 inch!! hehs, i think im the only one who's so happy about gaining weight! =p ooh ya, and i bought my FIRST pair of levi's jeans! YESSS! will wear it to the FIRST PS honours xmas gathering this coming monday ((: ------ hmm, and now im thinking about a question should i or should i not??? |
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19.12.08
things that i wana tell you part II/ 1:42 AM 做大的，要有做大的样子 做儿子的，要担当得起做儿子的责任 |
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things that i wana tell you part I/ 1:09 AM this story comes from zhuang zi... in the past, there was this person who was damn scared of seeing his own shadow and his footsteps. he thought:"if i run away from it, then i won't see it anymore!" and so he ran and ran. the further he ran, the more footsteps he saw; the longer he ran, the longer his shadow becomes. He persisted, thinking that he was too slow, and ran faster and faster, till he was all worn out and died... it was foolish of him not to know that by going under a tree, he won't see his shadow anymore; by sitting down, he won't see his footsteps anymore. are you like this too? there was this other story by zhuang zi: there was this ancient big bird, its wings spanned across a few miles. it can flie up to thousands of miles a day. its shadows can cover the whole forest of a few square miiles. while its shadows were casted over the forest, the little sparrows are enjoying themselves, chirping, jumping around the branches. perhaps we are leading different lives, you're happy with yours now doesnt mean that i'm not satisfied with mine. ----- even if i'm the last one standing, i'll still stand firm on my grounds and my beliefs. if you want to change yours and think that it is right to do so, so be it. I cannot and will not do it. because i'm born with that obligation and duty to stand firm on it, and carry on with it. |
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12.12.08
好歌 playback + x'mas wish/ 3:00 AM this song brought back some memories... i heard this song a few weeks back in the channel 8's 45th anniversary programme and it made me thought of a few important people in my life i hope that they are doing well in their lives, be it here or elsewhere... 生命过客 主唱：童安格 曲:李伟松李偲松 词:卡斯 在拥挤的街头 你在忙碌的追求什么 在孤寂的角落 你知道失去的也多 chorus 在拥有的角落 你是否曾经好好珍惜 在失去的时候 是否依然那么在意 一生要失败几回 才知道成功的意义 一生要爱过几回 才了解爱的真谛 一生要失败几回 才知道成功的意义 一生要爱过几回 才了解爱的真谛 在拥挤的街头 你在忙碌的追求什么 在孤寂的角落 你知道失去的也多 chorus ----- this x'mas, i have only one wish. but i know it can never be fulfilled |
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8.12.08
Decisions, Magnanimity, and others/ 11:03 PM with decisions, come consequences you make a decision, you face up to it, simple as that. some consequences we are able to see. but a lot of times, a lot of consequences cannot be foreseen. but still, you face up to it, no 2 ways about it. no point in whining etc when things go wrong, coz you made that decision, you answer to it. that's the way things are in life. that's why life is exciting, coz you never know what's coming along your way, all you can do is to stick to your decsion, wipe off your tears, hold on to your faith and carry on to the end ----- i don't understand why people can bear grudges/ memories years after years why can't we just forgive and forget? if its not a matter of life and death, do you really need to hold on to it for so long? perhaps, everything takes time ba i always thought myself to be a big hearted, optimistic, magnanimous (hah, self-praise here) but there are still some stuff in life that I'm still trying to reconcile with. ----- I think i'm really still not ready for the job market... there are just soooo many things to learn but which the school did'nt teach having leadership expericences, internships, CCA records, good results are still not enough! I realised that specific technical knowledge is still very much needed! But PS students where got specific technical knowledge?! to make things worst, a lot of companies who are posting recruitment adverts online are looking for people with at least 2-3 years of working experience. jialat la! fresh grad can go measure the road already! ----- i realised that i can't solve P5 maths questions! haha, i really wonder why my tuition kid's maths results improved after my tuition =p ----- what happens between a guy and a girl should only involve the 2 parties. the involvement of others with or without the consent of any of the 2 parties will only complicate matters |
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7.12.08
/ 4:20 AM puis! from that moment on, i really hated myself! walaus, knn, why i so hum ji?! haiz ARGHHH! |
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2.12.08
/ 5:19 PM  yay! i was watching channel u just now, and its promoting the infernal affairs trilogy!!! wu jian dao woots! its this movie that andy lau became my idol! woooohoooo! shuai~!我只想做个好人 我想跟他换 我爸爸常说， ‘出来跑，迟早要还’ 我也是警察!!! classic! what's there to say? hahaha!!! |
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town councillors = invesment bankers?!/ 1:01 PM was reading a bit on the issue about town councils' investment recently, my thoughts about it? i thought all this while since i was a kid that the purpose of town council is to make our heartlanders' lives better, never did i know that to make our lives better is to turn itself into an investment banker... but i believe investment banker will tell me which funds they are going to invest in before they put it into action then i read the headlines of lianhe zaobao which quoted a politician saying: "i can just bo chup and let the money rest in the savings account of the bank, but i don't think that's a responsible act." hmm, my response: "羊毛出在羊身上" and i don't think that's a very wise remark to make at this point of time. why so serious? why sound so defensive? then i start to wonder: if town councils did profit from the investments in previous years, and town councils being part of the government, why are taxes increasing? why are we still being charged for upgrading projects? why do i still need to pay for electrical and water bills when i book the void deck for my dad's funeral wake a few weeks ago? if the purpose of town council is to make heartlanders' lives better, and town councils profitted from previous investments, why did i see the rich getting richer and the poor, like me, getting poorer? hmmm, its just my rantings as a heartlander k! deep in my heart, you still know that i love singapore, i love the system, i believe in meritocracy, i believe in singapore's 'democracy', and i still have strong faith in YOU (yew)! *wink* at the back of my head, i still remember the GST package you gave me, thanks! |
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