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29.4.09
送便當的母親/ 12:51 AM

「你又來了!」

中午,我站在學校大門口當交通導護,幫助一年級的小朋友放學。

卓新勇的母親,悄手悄腳提著一個便當在校門口。被我一喊,她露出不好意思的表情。

「老師!...」

「哎呀!我不是告訴妳了嗎?學校不喜歡你們替孩子替便當。如果每個媽媽都像妳這樣,學校大門就擠滿人潮,那樣,我們怎麼放學呢?」

「我知道!我知道!」哼!知道了還送,簡直是明知故犯。

「讓他自己帶便當嘛!」

「我知道!我知道!」這些話,不曉得說了幾次。

每次一到中午,送便當的家長和放學的一年級小朋友,常常相撞在一起,造成相當的困擾。

卓新勇是一位沈默寡言,乖巧內向的孩子。有次上課,他竟然打瞌睡,我很訝異,把他叫起來。

「怎麼了?」他一臉迷惘站起來,不回答。第二天上課,也是這樣,我實在受不了,狠狠地把他叫過來。

「你到底怎麼了?」我已經累得半死,口氣已經控制不住。

突然,他垂頭淌下淚水。我暗自一驚。「說呀!到底為什麼上課要打瞌睡呢?」

「我媽媽住院了!昨天一直在醫院陪她。」我一聽愣住了,頓時,心中的怒氣消失了,代之而起的是無限慚愧。

「她怎麼了?」

他難過搖搖頭。 「不知道!」

晚上,我打電話到他家。接電話的是他父親。

「她為什麼住院呢?」

「 是肺癌!」我一聽,心都涼到腳底。腦子浮現身體贏弱的卓新勇。如果,不幸那天來臨,他將如何繼續往後漫長的歲月呢?

想到這兒 ,不禁鼻酸。吃飯時,妻子在餵兒子吃飯,我不禁想起,以前卓新勇的母親偷偷摸摸替他送便當。

第二天下班後,我騎著機車到醫院探望他母親。幾個禮拜沒見,卓新勇的母親瘦得不成人形,蒼白的臉,光禿的頭,簡直不敢相信就是她。


她看到我,顯得很驚訝,努力想站起來,但是,一咳嗽,整個人歪了一邊。


「不要站起來!不要站起來!」


「老師!謝....謝謝你!」 她吃力喊著,眼眶消出淚水。


在醫院的走廊,卓新勇的父親對我說:「只剩下兩個月了!嗚!我﹍真的不得要怎麼辦?」他老淚縱橫。


回到學校,報告校長。


「他爸爸已經六十多歲了,現在母親又將離開人間,是不是我們可以發動全校募款。不管多少,都可以幫助他。」


校長爽快答應。


經過幾天募款活動,我們總共募到五萬二千一百二十元。把錢送到醫院時,卓新勇的母親已經陷入昏迷中。


「我們準備今天送他回家!」卓新勇的父親,臉形憔悴得發白。


「老師!能不能幫個忙?」 我一聽,心頭抽搐一陣。


「請說!我能夠做到的,我一定答應。」


「他前幾天,一直拉著卓新勇的手,喊著:媽媽不能再替你送便當了!我想,請老師再讓他送一次便當,只有送便當時,他才真正感受到一位母親的榮耀。」 聽到這兒,我百感交集地點點頭。


中午,一輛救護車呼拉拉開到學校大門口。


卓親勇的父親和一名醫護人員,推著擔架上的人。我淚水盈眶,站在旁邊,伴當交通導護老師。


「到了!到了!」卓新勇的父親買了一個便當,躺在擔架上的卓新勇的母親,伸出瘦細蒼白的手,提著便當,在旁邊人員推送下,慢慢靠近大門口的鐵門。


在鐵門的另一邊,卓新勇則伸出右手,接過母親的便當。


「媽!」卓新勇嚎啕大哭。


這時,我清楚見到她母親瘦削的臉頰,抽搐了一下,彷彿想說話, 但是,又說不出來。


「媽!我不要!我不要妳走!」卓新勇呼天搶地叫著。


我的淚水,再也控制不住,嘩嘩而落。我暗恨自己,以前是多麼殘忍!


卓新勇的母親出殯後。一天,卓新勇的父親來到我辦公室,遞給我一包牛皮紙。


「老師!這是你和學生們幫助我的錢,我認為還有更多的學生,需要這筆錢,所以,還給你們。謝謝你熱心幫忙。」說完,錢一放,就掉頭離去。


這筆錢彷彿生熱似,直燙著我心坎。


我天天找卓新勇聊天話家常。深怕他經不起喪母的打擊。


「老師!你放心!我很好!你不要一直替我擔心!」卓新勇對我說。


「我很早就知道,我母親就要死了,我也不是不想聽你話,叫媽媽不要送便當。因為,一天當中,只有中午,我才能吃到我媽媽煮的飯。」


我心頭一凜,「為什麼呢?」


「爸爸心疼她太過勞累,故都親自下廚,媽媽也因為小孩想吃她做的便當,所以就利用爸爸上班期間偷偷的做便 當」說完,卓新勇淌出淚珠。

this stody goes out to all parents.
especially to my dad...



26.4.09
more AWARE-d/ 1:09 PM

I looked back on my previous blog post and realised that it was a little extreme, and gave the impression that im siding with the new exco.

Not at all man!

In fact, im totally disgusted by people who go into power using loopholes in constitution.
Maybe AWARE needs changes, but to the extent of totally destroying the foundations of it is too off.
Alot has been said about how dangerous the new exco is to AWARE so i shan't go too deep into it.

I think that both camps are too engrossed in their current power struggle that they ignored the long term progress of AWARE.

What both camps are doing now is what i was told last time, "negative publicity", which is bad for any side which eventually wins.
It is also bad for the development of AWARE and civil society.

Like what Bingde said yesterday over msn, the old guards have indeed learnt the hard way.
And i think this whole saga serves as a very good lesson for Singapore's civil society.


A thought that came to my mind since the discussion with unclebing35 last night, which was actually always on my mind since i joined student organisations:
if you can't protect yourself and your people from harm/ threats, how can you do good to others?

laws are made by the people, for the people.



25.4.09
aware-ness?/ 12:34 PM

I think the most talked-about topic in town now is the AWARE conflict woahs, no doubt, it had really created a lot of AWARE-ness in singapore man.

I received an email from an ex-PS, current AWARE member last week. She's using the medium of internet and email to ask for support for her cause against the new exco. (started me thinking about 'medium theory' hahas! ok, that's not the point here)

Just my suggestion for the old guard who sent the email to the PS department last week:

I think you guys should read up your AWARE constitution in DETAIL first before starting the quarrel with the new exco. The new EXCO is constitutionally elected in, mind you. If you're fighting for democracy, since AWARE is a civil society organization, i think you should use the constitution to question the legitimacy of the new exco. And I can already thought of one without reading YOUR CONSTITUTION.

How can AWARE, as a civil society group, has a president that's not popularly elected in?

Makes me wonder if you ever bother reading YOUR CONSTITUTION when you join as a member.

Campaigning through email is a good way. But asking any tom dick harry who does not understand ur organization's mission and values to pay 40 bucks to join in so as to make up the numbers to have a majority vote count over the new exco in the upcoming EOGM is a constituionally childish and stupid way of bringing the AWARE cause further.

You're not doing any good to the the long term development of AWARE at all, do you know that?
To me, this shows that the old guards, who are supposed to be the 'guards' of AWARE, its mission and values, have no respect for its constitution, no respect for its own cause, no respect for the 500 plus members who joined for a noble cause.
What you're doing diluted the cause that you've been trying to 'guard'.
So what difference are you from the new exco that you're condemning?
This shows that perhaps there was no 'cause' at all in the first place huh?

If you don't even respect the constitution yourself, don't call yourself a civil society movement supporter, don't even call yourself a supporter of democracy, don't even join such organisation in the first place. If you don't even respect the constitution yourself, don't expect outsiders to respect your membership and your organisation.

At least the new exco was constitutionally elected in. In terms of legitimacy, they have a higher moral ground than you. To make things worst, you've disregarded the very thing that you should be fighting and defending. You've already lost the battle right from the start.

I always, and still believe that "laws are made by the people for the people". Of course you can always argue back that the current constitution needs ammendments for AWARE to move forward yada yada. But make sure you're in power first then make the constitutional ammendments for the long-term benefit of your organization, which of course will require the approval of your members. If you're not even in the position to do so, then you jolly-well stick to the constitution and use it to you and the organisation's long term benefit. Of course, this 'benefit' is subjective.

My point here is to RESEPCT the CONSTITUTION, coz you're IN A CIVIL/CIVIC SOCIETY ORGANISATION governed by a CONSTITUTION.

When you're calling the others as un-democratic, intolerant, detrimental to the long term female rights movement, have you look at yourself too?

"so much for being an ex-PS major..." That's exactly what's on my mind when i read your email.

Obviously you've failed to win me over in your "campaign".



17.4.09
/ 1:52 AM

大爱不需要用过多的语言来表达,

只要去关心就够了。



12.4.09
/ 12:17 PM

this was what i saw on the chinese challenge website

.

画 坛 四 大



turned off...



4.4.09
blardy pissed/ 6:37 PM

given the opportunity and the authority, i will not hesitate to give some people a blardy tight slap on the face to wake up their blardy idea.

i think it won't be long for that to happen



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