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28.6.09
完了/ 2:11 AM 我可以了解人在必要的时候是必须说谎的 我更可以了解有时候不能把事实的全部说出来 但是我不能忍受你对我的欺骗和隐瞒 因为是你 因为我一直把你当成最好的朋友 不是什么大事， 但不知道为什么， 我就是有一种被耍的感觉 我很久很久没有生那么大的气了。 也许一直以来， 我太相信你了。 现在，完了。 |
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20.6.09
reality?/ 11:30 PM read bingde's blogpost about dreams and reality, it started me thinking in the past one month, there were indeed times when i woke up, thinking while brushing my teeth: "do i want to do the same routine for the next 40 years??" ok, here's the routine that i do everyday: wake up at 7 or 7.15am brush teeth, do abit of push ups to clear my blocked nose, bathe, change leave house at 8am squeeze into the mrt, sweating walk to office buy breakfast at 9.30 or 10am and the day goes... knock off at 6.30, sometimes 7, meet some friends for dinner nua at home from 10pm onwards till i fall asleep and it goes on for five days until Friday evening! wooots TGIF!!! sounds quite sian right? But now lets put reality into perspective i know exactly that at the 12th of each month, every cent i earn is through my hardwork and effort. I know exactly that every cent is put into good use. the money is being used to clear my debts, clear my family's debt, buy things for myself and my family, pay for my insurance, my bills etc etc. I know that this money will help me set the foundations for my bigger dreams next time Everyday when i lie on my bed, feeling shagged out and brain-fried, I tell myself: "this is the feeling of having a sense of purpose" At the very least, I can proudly tell people that I'm now working and feeding myself. To a certain extent, having a job does make you more confident as well. I think this is what people call transition from boy to man. And seriously, coming back home after a long day at work is the best reward a working adult can get. At work, I get to learn new things everyday, involving in REAL international relations instead of what we LEARN in nus which is so erms... academic, unreal, and outdated! (work in international relations and cutoms is more like arts club experience than political science) So actually, it isnt such a horrible thing to enter the working world afterall. |
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18.6.09
clinique happy heart/ 12:14 AM  my curse... |
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14.6.09
irony/ 8:15 PM so ironic in the past, when i know that there are people out there reading and targetting my blog, picking out information, i blogged in a cryptic way. and i blogged a lot more now, life is more peaceful, and in a way more meaningful but i blogged less and i have a lot of drafts which i hesitate to publish, don't see the need to |
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